Religion That Is Not So Blind

Our icon is from Sallie Thayer.

I don't go to Catholic Mass all that much, not nearly as often as many of my Protestant friends think I do given my bromance with St. Ignatius of Loyola, so I was happy to have a surprise chance to drop in on a noon Mass one day this week with my good friend Greg and others down at St. Paul's College in DC. We arrived five minutes fashionably late and I had to grab an empty chair that was of course up front near the altar and next to one of the presiding Fathers.

I'm not Catholic, though I love and appreciate my Catholic brothers and sisters. And I know a good bit about the Mass, though I don't know the rhythms like a good Catholic. This means that when I go to Mass I have to bring my "A Game." I have to work hard to listen and watch everything so that I'm not always the last one standing or sitting. I rarely make the sign of the cross in prayers or before the Gospel reading... my goal is not to pass myself off as a Catholic, but I do hope to worship and to at least not be a distraction for others.

In this particular noon Mass I was rocking along quite well when the wonderful old, probably retired, Father who was presiding over the Mass moved to deliver his homily. I had of course already noticed his quaking voice and shaking hands, a loss of muscle control I would usually associate with my own sweet grandmother's Parkinsons Disease or other such aliments that afflict the mature among us. But he manfully strove with his body to grip the lectern and deliver the homily with a stronger voice and presence than he had previously shown us.

His text was from Daniel 3, the famous story of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego and their fiery trial. As he worked to bring his body under greater control and speak quite eloquently on the passage my personal empathy went through the roof with this dear old man. I know the feeling... when I am especially tired or excited I will often have to work over-time to keep my stuttering under control.

His obvious effort served to focus me on the passage and his words. And so I was unprepared for the power of the words in verse 18, "But even if God doesn't save us..." It's a familiar passage, and one I have happily preached many times myself. But caught in the furnace of age, not himself delivered from the ravages of a failing body, this old priest drove those words to the center of my soul. From the lips of the three young men so long ago, to the lips of this venerable priest, to my own often too-hard heart, the words rang as they seldom have for me. Forget the fickleness of my faith, the faith that follows on good days and coasts on the bad days! Forget my faith that only responds to the gifts of God. Forget my faith that only survives on answered prayer! O God, give me a faith that stares into the trial and carries on regardless.

Some detractors might label this kind of faith that moves regardless of immediate evidences of God as "blind faith." And certainly there are times when I could simply pantomime my religion instead of being a thinking, "seeing" person and an accountable soul. But that is not what I see happening in the story from Daniel. That is not what is happening in the life of a old priest who musters his strength to worship God and to serve his friends at the altar. It is not a blind faith, but a decisive faith. A faith that has chosen and does not have to continue choosing again and again. It is not a blind faith, but a very self-possessed faith that knows itself.

Even as I type the words I find my inner voice crying out in prayer, "Lord, help me know myself! Help me be so decisive! Help me be so self-possessed of faith and you!" And as we prayed together in Mass this week, "Lord, hear our prayer" I continue to pray, "Lord, hear my prayer!" For if I can bet on anything, it's really two sure things: 1) another trial is eventually headed my way, and 2) I can either have decided my course, or be caught unprepared for the heat.

Praying, Todd

Loving Lent as a Grace

I did not grow up in a Christian tradition that practiced Lent but most of my adult life I have been in churches that did focus on this practice. I find that it can be a wonderful way to prepare myself for the Holiest Days of the Christian Year, those final days of Holy Week---Holy Thursday, Good Friday and Easter. I feel like if I don't utilize Lent as a time of extra focus in my spiritual life and instead treat it just like any other time then Easter ends up feeling just like any other Sunday, with a few more people in attendance! Lent gives me a chance to really be prepared to take in more deeply the Mysteries of Holy Week.

I often struggle in my own life with guilty fellings and low self-esteem and sometimes the traditional focus of Lent on "giving something up" sets me up to feel guilt rather than to more deeply experience grace. A number of years ago I was introduced to what is for me a much healthier Lenten practice of trying to add something special to my life during Lent, something that will help me come closer to grace. This year I am fortunate to have a pastor, my fellow blogger Todd Thomas, who has prepared a wonderfully creative set of meditations utilizing the wisdom of St. Ignatius. I will be using this guide in private prayer during this Lent but I am also hoping to gather with others in the DC area who are using this guide. In fact, we have scheduled a weekly gathering time on the Thursdays of Lent to gather with Todd to share our experiences with the guide and to grow as a community together. If you are in the DC area you are welcome to join us starting next Thursday, February 21, at La Madeleine in Rockville. We will gather at 6:30 PM for food and fellowship and begin discussion at 7:00 PM. If you aren't in the area, I do hope you will check out the guide here and perhaps benefit from it.

A Long, Long Marriage

Last month in December of 2012 Teresa and I celebrated our 21st wedding anniversary. It's one of the things I'm most pleased with and pleased by in my life, my marriage with this amazing woman. Glancing at other stats in my life, that one is a humdinger. My longest held job only clocks in at a about a quarter of that kind of time (5 1/2 years). I was in university studies far less, only about seven years.

A cool aspect of our wedding anniversary is that we were married on the 50th anniversary of my father's parents, Lewie & Jean Thomas, both still living in Snyder, Texas. And if you haven't already done the math in your head, this means they did indeed celebrate their 71st wedding anniversary last month.

71 years! Seventy-one years! Holy moley! Holy Longevity, Batman! That's way more astounding to me than chatting about tax rates and fiscal cliffs. Just to be honest. That is a lot of shared life. That is amazing to me. And of course, someone reading this may have grands who have been married longer... I'm not trying to win the longest-married-grands contest... but these ones are mine. They set a pace I'm scared to even try to keep up with.

Who knows if I'll even live to be in my 90's. Teresa will. She shares something with my grands that I never have: good, clean living. Me, I drink way too many sodas, eat too much sugar and exercise way less than I should. I'm also too attached to an occasional pipe, though I keep reading that my moderately imbibed port wine and cognac should be good for me.

Can I share one very personal thing that really kinda pulls my heart strings? When I call and chat with my grands, as I did on our shared anniversary, I can't help but notice that they can be a bit vague about some things. Dates and times can be a bit fuzzy with them. They don't always recall well the last conversation we shared. But you know what, they know exactly what is up with each other. It's as though their world is collapsing as the universe is expanding, but it's collapsing into one another. 

So I'm adding that to my personal definition of love. Love is when your best memory, your deepest clarity and most cherished thought is reserved for the other. At whatever point you began to share that with someone, I wish you all the best in maintaining it! Me, I'll try to make my grands proud, and if I live that long, I'll try to honor their legacy.

~Todd